Head over heel

2007-01-01T10:06:00.000-08:00

This is the End my friend, my only friend the End....

I am following the "quitting" path of Mia or at least that it seems, even though it's not. As you may see by the blog dates entries I have been a bit lazy latly or let's just say I did not have the urge to enter any new blogs or maybe I just did not feel to agonize in order to write something.

At this point I would like to say thank you to Mia who introduce me to the blog world and took me with her blog on a journey of her life - I'm so happy for you that everything works out the way you dreamed it.

Thank you Emah who left the first comment besides Mia on my blog and I had to chance to talk to over the phone in Israel, it's was great reading your Aliah and settling down stories.

Thank you Cruisin-mom who gave me great laughs with her most funny blogs - your writting style is unique and wonderful.

Thank you Stacey's who shares her life over in "red-neck" Texas ;-) with her cute family.

Thank you Pragmatician who always looks at life also from a different point of view - very interesting thought.

Thank you to all of you who read and left comments on my blog.

May 2007 bring you much luck, love, health and happiness. Cheers!

2006-11-23T11:28:00.000-08:00

THE OTHER MISHPUCHA

My hubby comes out of a very religious background. He left it after Barmitzvah and went to live with his father who pratice judaism more secular. His parents divorced when he was 7. His mother and his two brother are today still very religous.

Today my hubby has a soso relationship with his mother, no relationship with his middle brother and a fanstatic relationship with his youngest brother.

When I started to date my husband, his mother invited us every now and then. It was always nice. I know the "frum" world and always behaved and dressed accordingly. No offense but but that's the moment my hubby called me "Rivkeleh".

Our wedding was set and that's when the balagan started. All of a sudden his middle brother ran to the Rabbi to ask if he and his family could join our wedding. We are not talking here about the dinner we would have understand if they did not join that. Even though we would have agreed on an seperated area just for them with a Mechizeh. No he was asking if he is allowed to join the Chuppah since it was not "super" frum. The answer of the Rabbi was NO and not only for him, also for his family, his mother and his other brother! His answer was based on the fact, that we already lived together and therefore had the act of marriage already crossed and so on. Blablabla....

You can imagine how many telephones etc. went back and forth. The fact is they did not show up on our wedding, though many other frum people came!!! For me it was a very difficult time not to imagine for my hubby.

Luckely, we kept on having a great relationship to his youngest brother. He was really sad that he could not join our wedding.

I took over a year until we had some sort of a relationship to his mother. Today she calls, she sees our little one, she even invited us over a weekend to the mountains.

Not so his middle brother. He has huge problem with us not being frum. He has a huge problem of not being able to explain to his five kids that there is also another jewish world besides frum. They live ten minutes away from us, the kids have never seen each other.

And today I passed by the kosher butcher and saw my sister-in-law and she looked at the other direction when she saw me. I feel sad for them but I question myself if religious is meant to go over Mishpucha.

P.S. His brother calls my hubby every Jom Kippur to ask for forgivness....and as a good jew he gives it to him.

2006-11-16T04:01:00.000-08:00

WHERE IS HUMAN KINDNESS?

These things always happen when you’re in a rush. In 30 minutes I had to be a the community center for the Bris of my cousins' son and on the way there had to pick up my mum.

300 feet away from the house my car broke down. In the middle of the street right on the crosswalk next to a crosswalk island. I started the motor again, but only a dry cough came from the engine along with my cursing.

First thing, I turned the warning lights on then I called my hubby. He stayed at home since little one was sick. He also got to hear the list of the curse words for the car. Did I mention that I have a hot temper.

So anyway, I told him to come help me push the car to the other side of the street. The second thing I called my mum that she had to come pick me up. I was standing there for about 5 minutes.

Close to 20 cars drove past me. None of them were not even considering stopping. No instead the gave me their finger, shouted through the closed window and tipped their index fingers towards their forehead.

I was really shocked and angry. I mean ‘com who would possibly park their car on purpose in a more inconvenient place. Besides I had the warn lights on.

2006-10-26T00:12:00.000-07:00

TIME GOES (RUNS) BY

Wow finally 17 and one year to go until full age. Already I did not feel like a teenager anymore, I was almost a "real" adult. And like a real adult I wanted to celebrate. My Birthday was on a weekday and since some of my “friends” were anyway out in town I wanted to celebrate with them.

Weekday? My mothers’ answer NO. And when she said no, it was NO! No begging, promising, teenage tantrum with tears, she just stuck to her NO. I shouted the whole house together but it did not help anything. Okay if she is so stubborn I can be too. I just did not go to my own family Birthday dinner in a restaurant.

My 20’s B-Day I wanted to make a big party, everybody should remember it. Friends of mine lived a bit outside in a cool old house and they allowed me to have it at their place. How cool was that. So I bought all the food, drinks and brought the music etc. A wine cooler/punch that would be it. Already two days in advance I prepared the fruits and had them soaked in some liquor. On the day itself I mixed all the igredients together and added the fruits.

Within no time people started to be really drunk and I mean seriously drunk. Afterwards nobody really remembered the party except me I was the only one sobber, since I’m not really a drinker. I had no idea how strong a punch can get..

With my 20’s B-Day my parents started a countdown. Along with a gift came their sweet B-Day card which said besides all the nice parent/child stuff. “Only 10 years to go until 30”.

Whatever I mean c’mon 10 years that’s a whole decade. My goodness it took forever from the age of 10 until 20.

And with every year that passed, it said on my B-Day card : “only 9/8/7…years to go until 30”.

The Birthday Party became “more” mature; nice dinner and a quick visit to a In-Club. As less the numbers became on the B-Day card as more we just stuck to a nice dinner and hit the bed by latest midnight.

And then THE 30’s B-Day was here. Amazing where did the past 10 years go. And what a decade; first finding myself, then finding Mr. Right, marriage, baby on the way. All in one decade I may as well have gone once to the moon and back, so different was I with 20 compare to 30.

Time did not go by, it flew by. Gosh and the countdown to 40’ is also almost down to 8.

BTW: On my 30’s B-Day my hubby invited my to Rome instead of a B-Day Party.

2006-10-09T05:10:00.000-07:00

NOW AND THEN

When I grew up TV's in Switzerland had five stations (three in German, one French and one Italien). Yes I know sounds like a third world country.....but you know what Albert Einstein answerd when he was asked what he will do when there will be an apocalypse - he'll move to Switzerland everything happens fifty years later.....

So back to the story. Every Saturday at 6pm they showed a half an hour cartoons on the Italien channel. No we did not speak Italien but with cartoons it does not really matter. Unfortunately on the same time started the sports-show on the Swiss channel, which my father always wanted to watch. And every Saturday it was a huge fight about who gets to watch what and when. So most of the time we had an agreement; a three minutes changing cicle. One of us sister seat close by the TV and the other stopped the time (of course more for Dad's show then for ours). When the time was up one of us sisters changed the channels by the TV - no remote control back then. You can imagine my father was not really able to watch the show since during his three minutes we were complaining why we could not watch our show. Soon enough we got a second TV.

Years went by and yes we did survive with five TV channels. When I was about ten years old the city started to install cable in every home.

That's when the distaster started. I got totally hooked to TV, all of a sudden we had around 40 channels. I mean I still played outside with friends and had a lot of fun but TV became quite important to me. My parents did not appreciate that and installed a lock with a key on the TV. Yes it "closed" the TV by somehow cutting the electricity off.

And they did it every time they went out. So no; Hart to hart, the fall guy, Remington Steel, Knight Rider etc. I loved those shows and the stars in it. I just could not make my parents understand why those shows were so "important" to me....

Towards the end of my teens I bought a TV from my saved money and kept it in my room. It was a tiny thing and fare not as much fun to watch on it then the one in the living room. But good enough for some of my "important" series: Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place.

There was a ritual with a very good friend of mine. Every Saturday we met at his place and watched first Beverly Hills, followed by Melrose Place. Woe betide someone disturbed us.

During that time when I saw one of those old episodes of: Hart to Hart, Remington Steel etc. I just thought how "ordinary" they were and wondered how I was ever able to be entertained by it. They were so nothing compared to Beverly Hills and Melrose Place.

And today when I watch LOST, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewife etc. I amuse myself when I watch one of the old episode of Beverly Hills, Melrose Place and even already Sex and the City and I ask myself what was so fascinating about it.

Well I'm curious what new exciting series they will show in a few years from now and then I can look back at the current ones and see what I think about them then.

2006-10-04T01:51:00.000-07:00

BLANK

I sat in the Synagoge on Jom Kippur and for the first time in a long time I felt relieved. Not relieved because of the prayers in the first place but relieved that I could actually just be there without having to do anything or the thought I have to do now immediatly something or take care resp. run behind the little one etc. Don't get me wrong I love my little one but I guess every mother knows what I'm talking about. By just sitting resp. standing in there and concentrate on the service I really had an inner peace. I hope y'all had also good Yom Kippur.

And now back to the doing and running. With all the inner peace etc. it somehow left my brain blank so right now there is nothing I could think of putting in my blog.

2006-09-18T13:22:00.000-07:00

HERE WE GO

Since this Monday I am temporarly a mother of two. My sister had to get hospitalized with infectious mononucleosis also known as kissing disease. She just became a mother of her second child about 7 weeks ago. So anyway, the baby-girl was with her in the hospital over the weekend.

My sister was in severe pain and they started to give her morphine, which did not really do well with her baby. Since my sister was breast-feeding the baby eventually became also some of the meds and started to look like a "lucy-in-the-sky-with-diamonds-trip".

We decided to take her off the breast-feeding and also take the baby out of the hospital.

So now I have a 7 weeks old and my own little one (almost 14 month) at home. It's much fun but also quite stressful.

Sorry, but I may not come around anytime soon to read some of your blogs.

I wish you all Shana Tova and may all your dreams and wishes come true for the New Year.

2006-09-04T02:24:00.000-07:00

THE HOUSE - Inspired by Cruisin-Mom

My parents took me by the hand and walked with me through our new house. It was much bigger than the old one and spread over three floors. We walked up the stairs into the attic and they showed me my room. For me it was the most beautiful room of the whole house, with its own little balcony overlooking the lake.

The attic had three rooms, my bedroom room, my baby-sisters bedroom and a large storage room. The floor had carpet on it and underneath an old hardwood floor which creaked with every step you took.

Around the house was a huge garden and we played many hours along with neighbour kids in it or in the basement where we had a room just for us kids.

As much as I loved the house at day time I was scared as hell during night time. Since most of the attic was made out of wood, the wood itself was "working" in the evenings and during the night and produced loud kracks. Even though I knew that it was just the wood-kracks, in my imagination it was a monster, murderer and who knows what. Sometimes I was even that scared that I slept on a mattress in my parents room.

We celebrated many Simches in the house and my parents always kept an open door for everyone. Often on Sundays we were six to eight kids around the breakfast table since each of us sisters had at least one to two stayover friends. My parents always thought a house needs to be filled with kids laughter, squeaks and run-arounds.

In 2003 my parents held a family meeting where they told us that they would like to sell the house and move into a spacious appartment. They felt that the house became more and more too big for them with non of us kids living at home anymore. And since they will not become any younger and with all the stairs they would prefer to move now rather than later. Even though we understood we also felt a bit heavy-hearted.

A few month later my parents found the ideal appartment which is not so easy after beeing used to a house. The house was sold within 10 days to a family with two kids. My parents wanted another family to move into this house.

But the moment of truth came right after - MOVING. I moved many times in my life but hell never a house. My middle sister was pregnant with complications so she could not help and my baby-sister was extremly busy in her job. Since I was working with my father I just helped moving instead of being in the office. To sort, pack and move everything it took about two month. In the end of the actual moving day I walked alone through the house and said goodbye.

I live with my family two streets away from my old "home" but since the moving-day I have never passed by the house again. I somehow just closed the matter and I was fine withit - UNTIL NOW!

I've heard that this family will knock down the house and rebuild a larger modern one. For some reason that bothers me - even though I never passed by it again, I just knew it will always be there. But now the house of my childhood will only exist in my memories and on pictures and not physically anymore. I debate if I should go look again at it before it's gone or just stay with my memories.

Either way I became to realize that it was not just a house, it was a huge part of my childhood.

2006-08-24T02:44:00.000-07:00

MY OWN MURPHY'S LAW

When I prepare more food for a dinner invitation people are less hungry.

When I start the laundry already by the beginning of the week I still have more by the end of the week.

When I treat myself to an afternoon sleep while the little one is sleeping he wakes up earlier as usual.

When the cleaning lady cancels it's then most needed.

When I already have a playdate set for the little one other playdates are offered for the same date. Once I have none nobody is available.

When everything is quiet and I am just about to fall asleep my hubby moves like a maniac next to me.

When I decide to start a diet we get one dinner invitation after the other.

When we meet friends in town and invite them afterwards to our house we then get welcomed with a hairball barf of the cats.

When we head on a trip with the car I make sure not to drink too much and still could stop for the bathroom every five minutes.

2006-08-07T03:52:00.000-07:00

EXCUSE ME - WHERE CAN I COLLECT MY MITZVAH?

Friday morning, last shopping trip to the city center for little one's first birthday party (more to that in another blog). It rained like crazy and nothing worth than moving your kid from the car seat in the stroller while standing underneath a shower. So let's spend a little extra money for the indoor parking garage.

Just got past the barriers in search for a parking space, when a car pulls out infront of me. The driver backs out of the parking space and it looks very uncontrolled and next thing you know he crashes into the car parked next to him. Now every normal person would immediately stop and drive forward again. This one didn’t he just kept on going and scraped the whole side of the other car.

Eventually he was out of the parking space and I thought he will stop now and get out to check what damage he did. Not this one, in fact by now he must have saw me and jerked his car around and hit the gas and off he went.

Now I saw enough CSI etc. and noted the number while he speeded away. After I parked the car in another parking space (Parking space Karma) I wrote up a quick note for the damaged car owner and placed it behind the windshield.

So off we went little one and I to the nearby shopping mall. Standing in line with a huge full shopping cart I noticed that the person behind my had just a few items and I offered her to go infront of me. Without bragging but I always do that.

I did not have much time so we headed straight back to the car. Standing at the parking cash register I was not able to locate my parking ticket anywhere. Went through my purse, pockets, no entry ticket anywhere. Sh%*~t why now I am in hurry, have guests for dinner, little one is hungry.

So I went to the information desk and of course there was a line and - no - nobody would let me go infront. So I had to pay a fee of $ 40.00 for losing the ticket, to a very sweet lady who really felt sorry for me. All I wanted was to shout at her, that I would like to collect the return of my Mitzvot now, since I left a note for the damaged car owner and had a person go infront of me in the shopping mall.

Well I should now that a Mitzvah does not work like that……but still *pounding with my foot*.

2006-07-11T09:23:00.000-07:00

YES I DO AND EVERYTHING AROUND IT

Thursday came and with it the bachelerotte night of Mia. I met up with her sister in the early afternoon and together we went to the nearby supermarket to get all the food for that evening.
In the beginning, we almost went insane since we could not figure out what we should do on her special night. We became very clear advises of do's and don'ts of Ms Bachelorette. So no silly dress up and selling something on the street. No chippendales-kind-of-men. No drinking until brain dead. And so on. Oh no we were so looking forward to do something like that.....ahhh not really!!! And just going out for dinner and drinks was to us just not very special for her bachelerotte night.

After a long lunch and nearly brain dead from brain storming we came up with the theme of that night: A good housewife à la 1950's.

How do we get to that, well to be outfront Mia is not really THE typical housewife. But she did very well she got a husband who does most of these tasks....I must have done something wrong.

We decided she and all the girls will cook a menu together and in between she has to do different house task, like iron a shirt on time, special cleaning quizz and of course cooking. The menu was glassnoodlesalad with chicken-satay, panang curry with rice, and two cakes for dessert (these were bought). We choosed Thai, because she loves it.

We rented a great room with a kitchen and a huge terrasse in the middle of the old city, had all the attending girls dress up with an apron (with an screenprint photo of the soon to be newlywedds) and pink rubber gloves.

The dinner was actually not only for the ladies but also for the groom and his bacheler friends who joined us later on.

We picked the bride up at a nearby arranged place and brought her blind-folded to the happening room. The atmosphere was great and we had a blast cooking together. She did her task quite well, even though ironing is really not her thing. In the end she got a little book with all the recipes, THE good housewife guide (C-M says hi), pics of all the ladies etc.

Unfortunately I came down that evening with a horrible stomach flu and after spending more time on the toilet than at the actual party I had to be brought home by my husband. So maid of honour and best man had to leave the bachelers night. What a pitty!

So the next few days I spent alternately in bed and in the bathroom. The only and believe me just the only good thing out of this was that I lost around 8 pounds. It was my wish to loose some pounds for the wedding but not really like this.

For a moment I was very worried that I can't make it on Sunday. So I made sure to just rest and thankfully I had my husband looking after the little one.

Sunday morning and I felt much better, not 100% but close to it. We left the little one with a babysitter and later on my mum took care of him while we headed towards the hotel to be with the bride and groom.

Ohh the getting married "smell" was in the air when I entered Mia's room where she had already the hairdresser working on her hair. The chatan and my husband kept on coming to the room to gather last things to get dress in an other room, they behaved like headless chickens...in the end we had to throw them out. So Mia and I got a great hairstyle and also beautifully make-up. And then the moment of thruth, when she put on her dress....aaahhh she looked stunning, absolutely gorgeous.

Off we went all four together in the wedding car to the Synagoge. My father boroughed his Jaguar. This car already served as a wedding car for the fourth time. It was a hot day and the car A/C was very needed.

The synagoge was beautifully decorated and the band already got settled by the Chuppah. Mia sat in the lobby where she was sourrended by many female friends and family members, while her husband got the Ktubah signed. Then the bedeken and off they went to the front entrance. Everybody was settled in the synagoge (around 200 people) and I gave the sign to the Klezmer band to start playing. Slowly as the last ones, the bride and her father came down the aisle, she was smiling like a moon-cake. Come on ladies isn't this THE moment we are all waiting for? So the ceremony went on and the groom crashed the glass with an unerring forcefully step. Mazel Tov they are now husband and wife by the jewish law.

Following the service a nice Kiddush was offered and at around 3pm we got back in the car and brought them to the hotel where later on the reception had followed. My husband and I got a changing room and we were able to rest for a moment, before I went back down to go over the speech with Mia's sister. We were both the masters of ceremony for the evening.

The weather was still amazing and the cocktail started at around 6pm on the terrasse with a beautiful view over the city and the lake. At around 7pm we asked everyone to please go inside so this great evening could begin. As soon as everyone was inside I gave a sign to the newlyweds and they came in and we all started to dance Hora immediatly. It was great, everyone and I mean everyone was dancing.

Soon after we startet our speech accompanied by a slide show of different pictures of the newly weds. Then the first part of our speech ended with the first course. Afterwards we danced again like crazy, and different speeches and production were shown throughout the evening. But I have to emphasized most of all we danced and everyone had so much fun and you could feel their joy of celebrating this wedding.

The food was yummi, the music fanstastic, the atmosphere amazing, summing-up the best wedding I have ever attended (besides my own ;-). Happy, joyfull, barefooted and exhausted we stayed for a quick sit-down on the balcony of the newlyweds room before we headed home and sank right into our beds. Oh what a perfect day it was!!!

2006-07-02T01:12:00.000-07:00

KOH SAMUI

11 hours plane ride, not including the stop over of 2 hours in Vienna and 2 hours in Bangkok sounds to parents always like a night mare. But someone must have heard me, the plane Vienna to Bangkok was not even 1/3 full. (this never happens) Normally we go straight from Zurich to Bangkok. It was heaven, we had 8 seats to ourself and we all had a farely good night sleep.

Landing in Koh Samui and it felt like a second home. Koh Samui is the third largest island of Thailand and has an area of about 250 km2. It is about 650 km south of Bangkok and about 45 km from the mainland on the west side of the Gulf of Siam. Samui stretches about 26 km from north to south and about 16 km from east to west. A ring road of about 55 km leads around the island as a main transport road. The landscape of Samui consists of many small mountains and steep hills still covered by virgin jungle forest and huge coconut palm tree plantations. Of course there are many side roads so you can go on for days and days exploring the island and still find some new places. The "capital" of Samui is a rather small town called Nathon on the west coast of the island.

So for the first few days we relaxed and just enjoyed the slow pace of Thai life. The weather was quite hot and we mostly hanged around the pool and the house. The one thing which Thailand has is TIME - and for Swiss people it takes a moment to get used to that. It doesn't mean nothing works or you don't get what you want. But people here just seemed more relaxed and enjoy life to the fullest. The Thai always smiles - by nature and I guess by them being Buddhist.

You should see how much they adore children (not like in Swityerland where people look at children like thez came straight from hell). Children in Thailand have the freedom to do whatever they want to do. Children are treated like little buddhas. Whenever we showed up with our little one in the stroller we immediatly had a crowed around us and they gave him their full attention and always tried to take him out of the stroller and carry him around. Sometimes that was also a bit annoying - but then on the other side you were able to eat in a restaurant and a staff member always looks after the little one, so you could enjoy your meal. Believe me he loved them and was quite flirting with them.

We also did some day trips and one of them was to the magic garden. In the middle of the jungle a guy builded different sculptures and arranged them that it looked like a fantasy garden. Very beautiful, however I wandered off a little to look at a hidden little lake when I made THE mistake and looked up. About 3 feet above me was a hugh net and it belonged to a hugh spider (spread your hand and look at it...that was the size of that thing) and it was not me exaggerate even J. said he never saw such a big one. I screamed and could not move anymore J. was standing about 10 feet behind me trying to calm me down, while I had a total panic attack. He told me to slowly just move back towards him, but I couldn't I was petrified with horror and he could not come to get me because he held the little one. So anyway it must have be only a moment but if felt like forever and I finally was able to move and run towards J. This event stayed with me for the whole day and I have to admit that I never felt so much fear in my entire life. Ahhemm so much to my second last post of getting over my fear of spiders.

To "celebrate" my rescue we went to a lovely beach restaurant in a quiet bay. Food is the other great thing about Thailand. I guess nowhere in the world you have so many restaurant on the number of people. You always see them eating but then again they are very slim, well if you eat fruit, fish, veggies and rice there is not much to gain on. I have never eaten bad in Thailand even if the food is quite simple it's just great in taste. Easy meal (starter and main course) for the two of us and some rice for the little one $ 3.00 for all of us. Amazing: eating out is less expensive then cooking at home.

So today is our last day here on the island and I will probably have a massage later on. Another thing why this country is so great - you can have a massage for approx. $ 6.00 on the hour. If you go to a upper class Spa it's around $ 15.00.

So again hopefully the trip tomorrow goes well again. Once we are back in Switzerland I'll be busy with Mia's bachelorette night (coming Thursday) and following on Sunday having the honour of being together with her sister the masters of ceremony at her wedding. It will be great and I am looking very much forward to this special occassion. I wish you all a great week and will blogg some more after the Simcha.

2006-06-12T03:16:00.000-07:00

HEAD OVER HEEL - WE ARE GOING TO THAILAND

Not planned and very spontanious we decided to spend 2 1/2 weeks in Thailand on the island of Koh Samui. My parents have a house there. I'll blog some more when I get back I am sure there is much to wirte about. Wish me luck on the 11 hours flight with our 10 month old son ;-) luckely we fly during night time and he has his own seat. Last time we have been there in December when our son was still fitting in the baby basket. Wish you all a great summer!!!

2006-05-21T02:21:00.000-07:00

PARANOID, PHOBIC OR THAT THING IN MY CELLAR

Yes I admit it, I do not like spiders in any kind of shape, size with or without hairy legs. Give me snakes, mice, rates whatever! But spare me spiders, anything that has more than four legs is just spooky.

When I was still living at my parents house the cellar was one of those places where I had lovely encouters with these brown, hairy legs at least-one-dollar-coin-sized creatures.

It went mostly like this, my mother asked me to get something from the cellar and while I was down there looking for it, IT always decided then to somehow appear out of nowhere, which made me scream and run for my life. Of course afterwards I had the feeling that IT would be somewhere on my body whenever a flighty piece of cloth touched my skin and the out of the blue jumps resultet in some strange looks of my family. They somehow did not understand my arachnophobia (Latin; fear of spiders) but then again my sisters admired me, when it came to mice, rates or snakes... not that we had them at home. (Well I once had a pet rate but that's a different story).

My parents tried hard to ease my fear with some logical facts like; they are harmless, much smaller than you, are more scared of you etc. it did not help much.

So the years went by with the screaming and running out of the cellars and one day I decided to take a shock therapy. I went to the Zoo and headed straight to the terrarium with the big fat tarantula in it. But already 15 feet away I just froze up and could not take any step further. After standing there for minutes pretty much in the middle of this hall not able to move I decided to call it off.

Sometime later they showed the movie "Arachnaphobia" on TV so I decided to help my fear with a second shock therapy. But as soon as the first huge, massive tarantulas where in sight my knees where up by my chin and and an electric shock when through my back bone. Minutes later I had to give up it was just too adrenergic for my body to handle.

The years went by and somehow I became at least able to handle little "match-box" spiders if I had to and with the cats around I don't seem to have any spiders in sight! UNTIL NOW!

Two weeks ago I went in the cellar to do my laundry and there it was. Brown, hairy legs one-dollar-coin-sized. The nightmare of my childhood sitting there in a bucket not moving and of course starring at me. I had the chills everywhere! While I was shuffling all my cloth into the wash machine I keept my gaze on IT so just in case I could react when it would attack me from behind. But IT was just sitting there not moving!!!

Returning in the cellar to change the laundry IT was gone and that was worth than IT sitting there, now IT could be anywhere. Maybe IT sits on my leg with me not noticing and then I would take it upstairs and perhaps in our bedroom and at night IT would attack me.

But IT was not on my leg, IT was sitting on the shelf starring at me, not moving. That's probably the only moment I was happy to see a spider.

Two weeks went by and SHE is still in the cellar. Even though SHE is not always visible I know she is there and my fear slowly starts to fade away, I guess the nightmare of my childhood is the best way to treat my fear.

2006-05-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

FEELING NAKED

We had some friends over the other day and one word gives the other and we were talking about blogging. So he mentiones that he has a blogg and I am also eagerly tell him that I have one too. As soon as I told him I regreted it, why can I not shut my stupid mouth.

Some days later on skype he writes me his blog address and I write him back that I do not want to give him mine, he writes back that this was not his intention by giving me his.

Again some time later on skype he asks me if I mind if they (him and his wife) would read my blog in case they would find it, but they would respect it if I say no. Hello like I could influence that.

So anyway now I am in this uncomfortable situation where I do not know if they have found my blog or not. And if I would ask them I may encourage them to look for it.

You may think I am meschugge since everyones blog is open for the world to see, read, and leave a comment. But again to me it's different if you read a very personal blogg of someone without knowing him/her in person.

Now I am feeling naked. I just feel like I can not just write what I want, it's not like a have any state secrets, but sometimes you may just want to write something off your chest (even if it's just babble) without "any" people who know you, to know (does that make any sense...sorry for my english).

Well I guess that's the "risk" of blogging and if I have a problem with it I should just leave it......or maybe it's just that not knowing, I guess it would be different if they would tell me or leave me a comment....it's that uncertainty!!!

2006-05-02T03:00:00.000-07:00

OLD FRIENDS "LEAVING" - NEW FRIENDS COMING

On Saturday we celebrated my best friends, Mia, farewell party. The party was great and it was nice to see people I have not seen in ages. I already went that afternoon over to her moms’ place to help prepare and spend some time with her alone.

I still do not realize that Mia actually left for good and may never live in Switzerland again – but I am happy for her that she found the love of her life and as long as she is happy she can live in Sambuccu or wherever. And luckily we live in the airplane, cheap telephone connection and skype decade.

On Sunday evening we had a reunion of the Hashomer Hazair at a local restaurant. We were 15 people along with the partners - this was not the whole Kwuzah. Some of them I have not seen in almost 12 years. People I actually did not care much for were all in sudden very likeable. Of course the same jokes and insider were told like in the old days. It was really interesting to hear and see where those people were in life - and the best was how the topics changed; from parties, going out, seeing somebody new etc. to marriage life or soon going to be, kids, and buying a place to life.

Personally I like the most that I hooked up with a female friend that I did not care much back then and now we see each other with the kids this week and we already chatted for some time on the phone.

Quintessence: I am glad we all change with age and even though you did not particularly cared much for a person back then you should never stick with your outdated opinion.

2006-04-24T01:40:00.000-07:00

JOM HASHOAH

I volunteer for the organisation DAVID. It's an organisation against anti-Semitism and libel. Tomorrow we hold the Jom Hashoah (Holocaust remembrance day) at the main community center.

In the age of 13 I started to get very interested in the World War II and besides reading Anna Frank dairy and several other books, I watched a lot of documentaries. In my mid teens with the Hashomer Hazair we visited several KZ in Polen. This time was very intens and even though I already knew and saw a lot about it, it shook me through and through. The trip was very interesting and horrifying. After this trip something had happen and I was not able to read or see anything about WW II anymore, it just got to close to me and I ended up crying and dealing with feelings I never had to deal with.

So the first time I really dealt again with the subject of WW II was about a year ago. I also volunteer for an organisation, which provides koscher patient meals in hospitals. The initiator of the organisation a lovely older lady who I became close friends with, told me in an afternoon the rescue story of her family from WW II. She already lived in Switzerland but her family was still in Rumania. They were very lucky and were able to get asylum in Switzerland after the red cross arranged a trade with Germany - cars and goods for human beings (these trades had a special which I do not recall). Unfortunately one of her sister was not able to escape and died in a KZ, she had the same name as I and according to my older lady friend I resemble her. That afternoon we were both crying and I meant to write down her story or record it. Until now I have not done it and I am not even sure if she would agree to it but it would be definitely an important history document.

So tomorrow is the Jom Hashoah and I am afraid of it. I am afraid that I will loose it once the ceremony starts. But I will see what happens and maybe I will get myself busy behind the stage.

2006-04-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

THREE LITTLE STORIES THAT MADE ME SMILED DURING THE SEDER

My nephew is 2 1/2 years old and only speaks his cute "babble" language. So he stands with me and my husband in the kitchen and points on a postcard on our fridge and says clear and loud: "Parott". Before I could tell him how proud I am of him; my husband says absent-minded: "No this is not a parott, this is a Kakadu". My nephew and I looked pretty puzzled at him.

When it was time to sing the Chadgadja the man on the table started to discuss in which melody they should sing it in. The Endinger, the Zurich or the Basle version. So they kept on asking each other to hum the melody they prefer to sing. So they all started to hum at once and you could not single out one of the melodies. So this lead to further discussion. In the end we had somehow a mix between all of them. When the last strophe came up they decided to sing it without taking a breath in between - afterwards they set by the table gasping for air.

The two cats were sitting like phenix next to the dinner table. As soon as J. broke the first Mazzah they started to act like vacuum cleaners - head down chasing after every little crumb of Mazzah - all evening long.

2006-04-05T03:32:00.000-07:00

IT'S SOON MAZZAH TIME

Just a few years back you only had a choice of either the shmure / handmade mazzah (mostly provided by the local chabad lubavitchs) or the plain industrial produces ones (blue and brown package since I can remember).

Anway in our family there was always a clear line between shmure and industrial mazzah - it went even that fare that we divided the people into these categories. We always and only had the industrial ones, the hand made ones were coequaled eating carton.

I met my husband about a month before Pessach and it was obviously that he was spending one Seder at our house. So here we were, all gathering around the table and when it was time to eat the first Mazzah he was asking if we would have some shmure mazzah. Within a millisecond the whole family stared at him - he looked with seeking help eyes at me. So I explained him the family "rules" which he was totally cool with....but still I did not miss the eyebrow lift of my father.

Today at our house we have during the whole Pessach both Mazzah types and we're already curious which one our son will like.

2006-04-03T10:35:00.000-07:00

THANKS FOR SHARING - BUT NEXT TIME LESS DETAILS

Thursday morning I call my pregnant sister in the hospital (she was hospitalized with a bad stomach flu) and ask about her well-being and I get the full details of her toilet session. I guess I skip breakfast!!!

Thursday afternoon my mother calls me from my sister house where she is watching my nephew. He is also sick and my mother just changed him and is not sparing me any details of his diaper contents. Thanks again!!!!

Thursday night, my cell phone rings and my cleaning-lady (actually more a girl) asked me if she could cancel for tomorrow. No problem - but since I was hesitating for a moment, she goes on that she has a sex disease and she wants to see a doctor before the week-end. What's going on today!!!

Friday afternoon she calls me again to tell me that she has not a sex disease, it's more a problem when she has sex, so she has to go to a sex therapist and that would be following Friday, and she asks if she could come to my house on Thursday instead.

I got my credit for "thank you for sharing" for at least a month!!!

2006-03-19T05:09:00.000-08:00

SATURDAY NIGHT IN REVIEW

We were already late to begin with. My mother was late entering the door and kept on saying we should leave now but at the same time was asking if we could explain her what little one needs for dinner etc. My best male friend (P.) should have meet us by our house with his car at 5.50pm but was nowhere in sight. At 6pm so we decided to leave since we had to pick up another friend (C.). The movie started at 6.30pm and the theatre is located across town.

So I started to feel my aggravation raise when I could not reach P. over the cellphone (to say that we already left and he should meet us there) and my husband (J.) kept on driving like a meschuggene since he felt we were going to be late.

It was 6.20 pm and no parking space anywhere, J. started to get slightly nervous and mumbled something (which I can only guess....) . He saw a parking space on the other side of the street and does an u-turn over a double draw through medial strip. (if Police catches you, you turn in your driver lincence for at least a month and pay a steep fine). Guess what; the police just turned around the corner and saw it. My blood started to freeze and I already saw myself being the private driver of my husband for eternity.

But we were really lucky, since it was rush hour, they did not bother stopping (which is very seldom) and just shut us a dirty look.

After my blood being frozen it turned into the opposite and I was boiling (on top with the aggravation), so it turned into the stereotyp situation where the women blames the man for a bulls**t he did and he tryed to play it down by being cool. Luckely ;-) for J. that we were not alone (I am not such a b...) so the issue was fast off the table.

6.28pm non of our other friends were at the movies. Since we organized all the tickets we were obligated to wait for them. 6.30pm the first bunch came but J. best friend was still missing. Three phonecalls later and a message, we decided to deposit his tickets and go in. He finally showed up at 6.45pm.....Chuzpah!

We saw "failure to launch" and I found it quite amusing. All of a sudden it started to stink from the back, so I turned around to see what the cause was...it was a guy taking off his shoes. Man that was nauseating. One of our friend said a loud comment and a few minutes later the smell was gone and so was the guy.

The movie went longer than I thought and in the middle of it I went outside to call the restaurant to change the reservation time. I just rang the hook off, so I had to try several times which made me miss a good part of the movie.

The restaurant was just around the corner from the movies and we walked over there....it was freezing. By the time we got there the table was not set up for us and we had to wait another 10 minutes for it. After all the delays of tonight I would have been surprise if we could have just sit down and order.

In the end we had a great evening and together we are always a bunch of frolic jesters and it especially for me and J. it was great having a night out.

Unfortunately with all the delays we were also late coming home (30 minutes) and my mother was not soooo happy about it. Funny it made me feel like back in my teenage years. But after the first crunch she was okay again. I understand it since she was was almost here for 6 hours.

2006-03-16T12:36:00.000-08:00

SATURDAY NIGHT

My mother offered to watch for our little one on Saturday night so we could go out. Wowow let's party. We've not been out on a Saturday night since our little one is here - so I am very excited. We decided to meet our best friends (unfortunately Mia & Daniel are in Hungary) and spend the evening with them. So we go for the movies (have not been in one in the past 7 month) and then for a delicious restaurant. My husbands' best friend asked if he could bring someone along, unfortunately until now the women he brought along or we met were mostly to be found in the b... or weirdo section. We will let us surprise!!!

2006-03-04T09:00:00.000-08:00

OH MY US

J. and I watched the movie the skeleton key and it reminded me of my time in New Orleans and the things I miss most about living in the US. Don't get me wrong I love living in Switzerland but US is still very special to me.

You enter a store, restaurant and someone says: "How ya doing" or as in N.O. "Where y'at". Doesn't matter if the person is interested in your answer - it just makes you feel better.

If something good happens to you people tend to say: "I am happy for you" or "I am very proud of you" or "Good for you" - Switzerland people say: "cool"!!!

You can find the "Happy Chanukkah" right next to the "Merry Christmas" card. (4 years ago in N.O.) You went to the Synagoge without going through major security and feeling like a terrorist. Almost everybody knows what Judaism is - in Switzerland a lot of people do not anything about it (unless they watch american Sitcoms).

Walgreens - The huhg corner with all the Schmontzes you never need but still have to get.

Left over in a restaurant and you may enjoy your meal twice. If you would ask for a "dogie bag" in Switzerland the waiter would probably faint.

When you're about to through out your computer, toaster, TV etc. because it doesn't work for some reason. You may call 24/7 1-8000-I AM LOST. In Switzerland you may call Mo- Fr business hours and do not forget a 2 hours lunch time and most of them charge $1.50 on the minute.

Grocery shopping at any time, my favorite time was just around mid-night you can cruise by yourself through those big stores and never have to stay in line. In Switzerland most of the stores are open 7.30am-6.30pm Mo-Fr and until 4pm on Saturday, Sunday closed.

Going "crazy" at 2am in the toy aisle at Walmart.

Driving cross-country and it gets sometimes scarry if you don't see a house or a soul for miles - but it definitely clears out your brain.

Drive through banks - What a space out idea!!!

Cheap flat rate on your cell phone incl. thousand of free minutes anywhere in the US - in Switzerland you may consider yourself lucky if you get a hour free and you still pay at least 30 cents on every minute.

HBO - I would pay a lot to get that in Europe!!!!

Fairly cheap and good restaurants - in Switzerland you pay at least $ 15.-- for a "okay" meal. Mc Donalds "Big Mac Menu" cost in Switzerland $ 8.-- / okay we also earn more but it's still not in relation.

2006-02-27T11:51:00.000-08:00

SOME CALL IT A NIGHTMARE - I CALL IT MISHPUCHA

My youngest sister had her B-Day last week. My parents were on holiday and so it was decided to make up for it passed Sunday. Normally the whole family (8 people) has dinner at my parents house and my mother (the great chef) is cooking a delicious meal. Since my parents did not come home until late Saturday evening and in Switzerland most of the stores are closed on Sundays my sister proudly proposes that she will bring all the food to my parents house and cook a Thai dinner. So a really great idea!!!

Friday morning - my sister calls me to ask if it would be a big hassle when I would organize the starter. Okaaayy not so such a great idea anymore. So I ask her what I should do, she answers nonchalant green papya salad and chicken satay ("birdflu" on a stick with thai peanut sauce) and she mentioned that she already sent me the recipe by e-mail or I should google it up myself. Yes ma'am.

Time to start olympic discipline Nr. 1 and driving to a thai food shop. The store is so little that once you enter and turn you're standing outside again. I read myself through the jungle of thai signs (which I have no clou about ) so I am just choosing by the pictures on the items and leave backwards the store.

6.20pm Sunday evening and we are already late by 20 minutes. Entering at my parents house my sister shouts from the steaming kitchen how long it would take until my stuff is ready, my mother is monitoring the whole balagan and looks obviously annoyed by it. My father keeps on sticking his head around the corner to see how the atmosphere is. My middle sister stands pretty pregnant on the side while her little kid is using my husband as a climbing moutain and her husband is holding my little one.

My sister is urging me to get a move on, since she does not want to have her food cook to rags. So my mother has this super-duper hand operated slicing machine (the ones from the endless commercials on TV) dangerously sharp and difficult to handle. I was not able to operate this thing properly and especially not with the whole family standing around giving me their unwanted Atzes. So I give it over to my father since he thinks he can do it better than the rest of us. Be my guest!!!

Within a few minutes he "curses" the thing and thinks that he does not need the protection device which brings the whole family against him. So finally he has it all sliced up (and still has all his fingers) and leaves the field up to me again, balagan included. My mother and I clean up the mess (papaya slices even on the window sill). My sister wants to serve her dish while I did not even finish the starter and my middle sister, her husband and mine keep on asking when dinner will be served.

So in the end we had a delicious B-Dinner and my mother announces forcefully that next time she will cook again...by herself. We all silently agree since this safes a lot of unnecessery Atzes, hassle and nerves.

2006-02-24T08:45:00.000-08:00

MY OWN OLYMPICS

Olympics are on - I should win Gold in schlepping

Just the thought that I should leave the house makes me not want go anywhere. Two floors down (without elevator) I schlepp little boy, little boys bag, my purse, stroller and his driving seat.

Olympics are on - I should win Gold in juggling

Pushing baby stroller and shopping cart criss-cross through one of the biggest grocery stores. Everybody is shopping for the weekend - ergo - crowd everywhere. Hold on tight to the baby stroller while I try to juggle food in the cart and try not hit peoples' legs with the stroller. In the end trying to juggle three huge grocery bags and a bag of toilet paper (you can never grab those packages with anything else in your hand) along with baby stroller to the car.

Olympics are on - I should win Gold in multi tasking (good thing I am not a man)

Cleaning up the kitchen from lunch time. Deinfect the little ones' bottles. Unpacking groceries, make sure the cat does not jump into the bags which stand on the floor. Cleaning up the appartment. Make myself some breakfast/lunch while little one wants his afternoon snack, changing diapers etc. Laundry is finished too and the Shabbos meal waits to be cooked.

2006-02-23T12:27:00.000-08:00

A NORMAL DAY

Something is scratching on my bed room door - great Fatso the cat is bored or just has his crazy five minutes (he scratches on pretty much everything, guess he loves the sound of it). Thanks a lot Fatso, especially since the little one is still asleep and so could I. Okay here we go up, grabbing the water bottle of my husband and heading to the door to say hey to Fatso by splashing him with water. Don't get me wrong I like my two cats but they can be real nutniks.

So I heard about this super guru "real healthy" drink on empty stomach; luke warm water with a little dash of vinigair - not bad and definitely get your digestion going (someone would say thanks for sharing). Little sunshine (6 month) is also up and wants attention and his breakfast.

Lunchtime over at my sister house. Her boy is almost two years older than mine and they both love each other. While we sit at the table and have our lunch the two of them hold each others hand - so sweet - to die for. So my sister gives my the whole gossip of the jewish community - I just listen and think that I am very happy that I have friends outside of the clan. I know them all and most of us grew up together, however some Zurich jewish women turned into total b..... or at least that's my conclusion after the story my sister tells me. My sister urged me to join a "crawling" group with my boy - it would encourage his social ability (whatever that means in his age). But the thought of constant and only talk of babies with other mothers drives me nuts. Will see - if than anyway only an english spoken group.

On my way home I saw many women with strollers, most of them were walking by themself. So I think about placing an add in the jewish paper something like "sick of walking by myself who wants to join me we meet there and there". Haha I will then have all the b... in one place and only talk about babies !!!!